Please, let me take your hat and coat and let me tie you to this table, I just bought a new stone knife and I'd like to show it to you. If it's not too much trouble of course.
Can I get you a drink?
You are my best friend in the whole world and I am so happy when you come to visit. In fact, I'm working on a way to keep you here forever! Think of all the fun we could have! And I would treat you just like the very special person that you are.
Oh my! Where are my manners? My name, of course, is Kael and I am so very happy to meet you! Some of you know me already because I wrote a rash of comedy columns about a year ago, and I'm very sorry if that's what you came here expecting to find. It was something I wanted to try before I left for...well, that's a story for another day, but after returning from my year-long exile, I'm ready to work.
This will be our meeting place for now, because you're not allowed in my website yet--no, you'll have to get much closer to me for that--and I'm not going to post a regularly scheduled column because I'm too busy writing other stuff. I just want to share some things with you, but first THE RULES:
1. I'm not trying to make any money from this. That means I'm not going to peddle any shit in your general direction. If I recommend something it's because I like it myself and it's probably either free, or cheap. I make plenty of money, I don't need to take any of yours.
2. Please don't waste our time trying to critique my writing. I don't want it, and nine times out of ten, you can't do it. If I put something up here, it's either for an example or general enjoyment. (Besides, if I publish something in a blog, it stands to reason that I didn't think it was appropriate for commercial publication.)
3. I won't kill you.
I mean it! I take these rules very seriously! (Except for number 3...I may have crossed my fingers on that one. But don't linger here! It's not safe. Come in and plan on staying for a while...
I'll probably want to keep you.
Here's a video worth watching:
"Horror movies of 2011 were great!" "Horror movies of 2011 were shit!"
Everyone has a different opinion and yours is the most important of all! To you. I'm not going to recap movies, there are some great columns that do that. HERE and HERE. I'll just drop a couple on you that are coming up and I think look interesting.
I'm sure you've seen the trailer for The Woman in Black everywhere, but I like Danny Radcliffe, so...
Prometheus I am very much looking forward to, Ridley Scott plus the Alien feel...I can't wait.
Okay, next column I won't throw so many video's at you, I'll toss in some books instead, including what I'm currently reading, the most expensive new horror book I can find, and some new authors I think are great.
So, my monsters, I'll leave you with the
COMMENT QUESTION OF THE DAY:
If you could be stuck in the dark with one person, who would it be?
Please leave your response in the comment section below!
Prometheus I am very much looking forward to, Ridley Scott plus the Alien feel...I can't wait.
Okay, next column I won't throw so many video's at you, I'll toss in some books instead, including what I'm currently reading, the most expensive new horror book I can find, and some new authors I think are great.
So, my monsters, I'll leave you with the
COMMENT QUESTION OF THE DAY:
If you could be stuck in the dark with one person, who would it be?
Please leave your response in the comment section below!
